Critters 3: You Are What They Eat

March 24, 2010 10:04 am 0 comments ,

Eating the folks of Grover’s Bend was too easy so the Critters move to the city in the third flick about the devilish man-eating space balls.

A family of three (Father, son, daughter) traveling in a RV pull over at a rest stop after suffering a flat tire. While there, the family meets Leo DiCaprio and his evil Step-Dad who happens to be their landlord back in the city whom they have never met.

But I digress. Back to the kids at the rest stop for a moment. While tracking down an errant frisbee Charlie (drunk/bounty hunter) literally pops out of the ground and shoots ten feet up into the air. This scares the crap out of the kids, rightly so. Charlie apparently now hangs out at rest stops and hides in the weeds on some sort of catapult he built that could not possibly serve a legitimate purpose. Charlie then proceeds to warn the kids, through a brief recap montage from previous movies, about the Critters.

Leo’s response, ‘Give my regard to Mars.’

The Critters meanwhile lay some eggs in the family’s RV. When they leave, they unknowingly bring the Critters with them back to their crappy apartment in the city. Right off the bat we are greeted with a janitor who is a prick. He dies almost immediately. Being a prick in horror movies almost never pays off.

Leo and his evil Stepfather arrive a few scenes later to evict the tenants of the apartment. IĀ believeĀ he wanted to turn the apartment complex into a parking lot or a Coffee Bean. Eventually, the Step-Dad gets what is coming to him and Leo meets up with the kids from the rest stop.

Together they band together with an old coot and fight off the Critters until, as predictable as the sun setting, Charlie shows up. Yes, Charlie shows up because that is just what Charlie does damnit. Although dumber than a sack full of hammers, the drunk leads the group to yet another unlikely victory against the Critters. Everyone is happier than Oprah at a buffet full of Ho-Hos, well, minus all the people that died.

Snore Factor: ZZZ

IMDB 1991

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