This move is bad enough to have been immortalized by the Mystery Science Theater 3000 crew; so I obviously experienced a little trepidation for good reason going into this film.
At first I thought Martin Sheen was in this movie (and got very excited) but then quickly realized it was just his brother Joe. Two things I didn’t know before watching this flick. Number one, Martin Sheen had a brother and number two, said brother is an actor. The latter is up for question as I’m not sure what he or the other actors did in this movie can be considered acting, more like hanging out and drinking a few beers while a camera happened to be rolling.
Archaeologists find the remains of a werewolf in Arizona. The boss comes over and immediately a fight between him and the workers breaks out. This fight is occurring right on top of possibly one of the most important finds in all of history, but hey, boys will be boys I guess. One of the Native American workers falls and cuts himself on the skeleton. This is how you become a werewolf. He is taken to the hospital where he morphs into a weird looking guy wearing a rubber mask and then is almost immediately killed by Joe Estevez.
At the 40 minute mark, guessing where this film is going becomes very tough. They just killed off the only werewolf in the movie. Before I go any further it is important to note for the rest of the review I am going to refer the main characters as follows. Evil guy will be called Mr. Hairdo and the good guy will be called The Greaser. If you haven’t guessed, that is in reference to their hair choices.
Mr. Hairdo at some point gets ahold of some werewolf blood and tricks a security guard into drinking some spiked champagne. This is also how you become a werewolf. This next part is hard to describe without laughing so bear with me. The security guard changes into a werewolf and then decides to drive his car. Unfortunately, he is the world’s single worse driver and promptly drives into a ramp that flips his car over, crashes into oil barrels, and explodes. Man, werewolves just don’t last long in this movie.
Mr. Hairdo then gets into another fight, apparently due to jealous rage over a dumb redhead, and hits The Greaser in the face with the werewolf skeleton’s head. Once again, this movie shows a complete lack of respect for one of the world’s most amazing archaeological finds. Guess what? This is also how you become a werewolf.
Mr. Greaser turns into a werewolf and kills Mr. Hairdo in an awful chase sequence. He then runs off with the dumb redhead who, out of absolutely left field (I cannot stress this enough), is now a werewolf too.
I apologize if this review didn’t make any sense, but let it be noted that I blame the movie.
Snore Factor: ZZZZZ