Ladies and gentleman I present to you the Baron of Terror. He is the real most interesting man in the world. You think Hugh Hefner is a ladies man? Wrong. The Baron is THE real ladies man. You think you have seen monsters before? Wrong. The Baron is THE real monster. You think Haley is a comet? Wrong. The Baron is THE real comet.
This absurd Mexican nugget of a horror film will undoubtedly make you boil over with laughter. Oh, it tries to be scary but fails so epically that it enters into that special place in bad movie heaven to be forever immortalized for its shortcomings.
In 1661 during the Grand Inquisition in Mexico the Baron is charged with about 500 crimes and sentenced to burn at the stake. The Baron is so evil that a guy who sticks up for him is immediately given 200 lashes. The Baron promises to exact revenge on those responsible for his death.
Fast forward 300 years, the Baron is lowered in comet form (he can turn into a comet when he needs to) from the sky in a nice paper mache getup that was apparently made by a second grade class. The Baron turns from comet form into monster form which looks like something made out of remnants from Halloween Superstore clearance rack: fork-tongue of lizard, rubber claw hands, and bits of a werewolf face.
But that’s not all; the craziness hasn’t even started yet. The Baron eventually turns into a charming gentleman and heads to the bar for a drink. He promptly sits down next to a lady and stares at her. She buys him a drink. He stares. She talks. He stares. She decides he is the perfect man and wants to bone. He turns into a monster and sucks her brain out using his forked-tongue. People are around but none of them seem to notice.
Next the Baron obtains a mansion. This is not really explained. Then he invites all the relatives of those who killed burned him 300 years ago over for a party. And in one of the most improbable coincidences in the history of film, all the relatives happen to live within a few blocks of the very city he landed in earlier when he was still a comet. And in another amazing coincidence, everyone accepts the invitation blindly. The Baron sure is lucking out!
During the party, and here is where it begins to get bizarre, the Baron has to leave every few minutes to take some “medicine” which is actually human brains he keeps in a treasure chest. Why he has to leave so much and why he has to eat brains while people are around is a mystery.
The Baron goes on a killing rampage extracting revenge on those who wronged him. You know this is going to happen because every time he is ready to kill and transform into a monster a flashlight is shined on his face. You just can’t make this stuff up.
*Spoiler Alert* Don’t read the rest if you don’t want to know how it ends.
In the end the Baron is killed by cops with flamethrowers. Though, 300 years earlier flames didn’t work on him, they do this time and he turns into a dust. And like that it’s over, no explanation, just THE END.
Snore Factor Z