April 29, 2010 12:56 pm 0 comments

C.H.U.D. is a delightful creature feature highlighting all that was right with horror filmmaking during the 80′s. A plot featuring a dash of gravitas played completely straight by the cast, nice creature effects, government conspiracies, and a Doubting Thomas.

Think about it, if people would just listen to the lunatic ravings of paranoid hippies the vast majority of horror flicks could be wrapped up in under 45 minutes. I think I can speak for all horror fans in my appreciation of the art of ignoring the aforementioned ravings even in the light of insurmountable evidence in support of the lunatic.

A group of Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers are murdering people in New York City. A variety of individuals are on the case including: a cop, government stiff, photographer, reporter, and a guy who runs a soup kitchen. The film entwines each of their stories as they unravel the mystery of what’s in the sewer.

The film greatly benefits from a solid cast that includes, John Heard (Home Alone), Daniel Stern (Home Alone), Christopher Curry (Starship Troopers), John Goodman (Roseanne), and Kim Greist (Throw Momma from the Train). Basically, the casting director deserves a gold medal.

As good as the cast is the plot basically makes no sense and has enough holes to drive a few semi-trucks through. The wrap up doesn’t make a lot of sense – in fact if you haven’t seen this yet, I would recommend only watching the first 75 minutes or so. The end is underwhelming to say the least.

A few other scenes bring some serious chuckles. After the hippie soup kitchen guy (Stern) explains his horrific findings to the powers that be he is tailed by a government goon. Upon trying to make a phone call the goon grabs his quarter and eats it. I immediately thought of the side effects and plausibility of eating quarters to ensure people don’t make phone calls.

  • Eating quarters will enforce your status as a total bad ass.
  • What if the guy had a bag of quarters? How many could you eat?
  • Possible metal poisoning.

I determined this may not be the best method preventing phone calls.

Also, there is a shower scene that is so out of place that it might have been accidentally edited into the wrong movie. It’s one of those moments that can force a person to take up drinking. Watch at your own risk.

All-in-all this is fun flick from a time when horror movies were at their best.

Snore Factor ZZ

IMDB 1984

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