A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

I got a chance to see the reboot of the classic last night for the lovely ungodly price of $14.50 a ticket. What a deal…for the theater and Michael Bay. Not so much for my bank account.

Leery was my mood upon entering the theater. Concern was written all over my face upon thinking about Robert Englund’s departure from the series. And an unnerving fear engulfed me because Mr. Bay was involved.

Would Freddy be ruined forever? Probably not, have you ever seen Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare?

What strikes me as odd about this remake and many others is the studios are remaking movies that are already good on their own merit. The original has obviously stood the test of time. Why not remake movies that had potential and could use a little updating? Or, here is a novel idea – produce more original films.

The story is a familiar one: Kids living on Elm Street are stalked in their dreams by Freddy Krueger. The parents of the kids lie to the children about the past because they burned Freddy alive for some misdeeds. And of course, if Freddy kills them whilst dreaming they die for real.

The Elm Street connoisseur will find plenty of homages or in some cases identical shots (bathtub scene) from the original film. In that respect, Platinum Dunes got it right. A lot of time and effort was put into being faithful to original material minus one glaring and frustrating piece of info: Freddy’s past.

Here he is a pedophile that touches Elm Street kids in his special cave (see boiler room). I do not like this one bit. Throwing this major change into the historical background (he was not a pedo in the series until this film) turns him into a sadistic bastard. Yes, he was always a sadistic bastard but there was reason to feel slightly sorry for him. Not anymore.

Freddy is frightening to look a for the most part, though in several scenes I thought he looked like a character out of Avatar. His nose make up was scrunched up making him look cat like. Not sure what the were going for there.  For those of you that are the jumpy type you may want to grab onto someone or something tight while watching. There are several moments that caused mass jumping in the theater and most of them were for good reason, not a lot of fake jump moments.

Now let’s spend a little time talking about the Internet. During the discovery and back story scenes the kids use the internet to look up plot points. This involves using a search engine called “GigaBlast” in which you have to click “blast off” to query a search. Really? The “Gigablast” search engine looked like something out of The Net starring Sandra Bullock. Hello 1995 and 28.8K modems. There are also plenty of other laughably bad scenes that I won’t go into detail in this review. You just have to watch for yourself.

All-in-all the remake isn’t terrible but there really aren’t many reasons for watching outside of the novelty factor.

In closing I would like to thank Roy Orbison for this bit of inspiration. “Whenever I want you Freddy, all I have to do is dream pop in the original and Dream, Dream, Dream.”

Snore Factor ZZZ

IMDB 2010

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