Painful and excruciatingly tedious come to mind after suffering through a viewing of Paranoid.

Jessica Alba stars, if that is the right word, as a model/heroine that has absolutely no reason for anyone to like her. She is ditzy, dumb, and so oblivious to what is going on that you reach a point early on that you don’t care about her. Are we supposed to believe that after being setup and clearly kidnapped she would be so willing to chill out? I guess so.

At no moment in the film was anything even remotely interesting happening. This is sad because the idea for the movie sounds like one that could be developed into taught exciting film. A group of people (ex-rock stars) like to kidnap and drug young woman and live out crazy sexual fantasies. It could have worked in that “It’s scary because it could be true” kinda way.

Unfortunately, everything that can go wrong with a film did here, but it all starts and stops with Jessica Alba’s acting. I actually like her in a few movies and think she is passable as the hottie in most. Here she is so bad that I found myself laughing out loud when she tries to express emotions. Did the director not care or notice? It is hard to believe how bad it really is.

At this point I am about 90 movies into this project and this is by far the worst one I have seen. The pacing is way too slow, the heroine essentially does nothing to try and escape, and nothing resembling suspense makes an appearance.

Snore Factor: ZZZZZ (One of the worst)

IMDB 2000

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