Rottweiler (aka Terminator Dog)

June 9, 2010 11:36 am 0 comments ,

Brian Yuzna (Beyond Re-Animator) directed this lifeless pile of dog crap about as well as he has directed everything else in his career. He is a fantastic producer (Re-Animator, Warlock), but is once again unable to piece together a masterpiece of his own.

A young man is sent to future jail, a place that looks just like you would think a movie with a sci-fi channel budget would make it look, for a petty crime. That crime would be his acting ability. It is an affront to God himself.

As for the titular dog, he is a genetically modified cybernetic terminator kind of beast, nearly unstoppable in ripping out throats. Not that the gore effects are good, because they aren’t. They look cheesy, coming from a guy with such knowledge and time in the gore industry it is amazing that Yuzna seems unable to get that part right. Budget limitations are one thing, but making crap is another.

The plot is all over the place, laced with flashbacks and other signs about fate and crap. Here is my interpretation. A young man and his girlfriend get busted playing a hilarious game of infiltration (where you sneak across a country’s border because you are bored). A mystical scorpion creates a diversion so the young man can escape. Then a mutated Rottweiler is sent to hunt down the man. At one point this involves an excruciatingly long male nude scene. The cyber-dog, the man, and the mystical scorpion interweave at various points throughout the movie. The other 60% of the film is mostly filled with boredom and uninteresting nonsense.

If Cujo sets the bar as the best dog horror film; then Rottweiler sets the bar for the worst canine horror film.

Snore Factor: ZZZZZ

IMDB 2004

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...