Do you like chest explosions and shadowy international coffee companies? Do you like Italian Alien rip offs and super astronauts? If so, then you have come to the right place – Contamination has it all.
As I have mentioned before, the Italians are hilariously awesome at ripping off movies and taking dives in soccer games. This particular film though is rather uninspired when compared to some of the great rip offs they have created over the years.
The plot involves an astronaut who knows too much, a New York streetwise cop, and some chick who claims to be a security officer of some sort. The mismatched posse joins forces to save the human race in a fight with an evil alien species bent on human control, masquerading as a coffee company. The plot ain’t bad for a movie like this.
What are bad are the special effects. The entirety of the effects consists of just one slow-motion chest explosion after another. Actors a queued up for death and heavily padded moments before their chests explode. Interesting note: Human chest cavities are made of mostly rubber tubes, chicken guts, and PVC pipe of varying sizes with incredible blood spraying power.
The Alien coffee company’s secret weapons are egg-like things that cause instant human chest explosion upon touch. The eggs are made of bubble wrap, a glowing light and leftover slime from Nickelodeon’s You Can’t Do That On Television.
Another thing I found interesting, or rather frightening, was the 3 button maximum for the guys in the film. At no point does anyone in the entire film manage to get more than 3 buttons done on their shirts, with most barely getting two buttons done. The ladies will love it.
As a knock-off, this film is wonderful. The opening scene, in which a ship floats into a harbor, is blatantly stolen footage from Zombi 2. To me this is a ballsy move, but then I reconsidered and decided it was pretty awesome to steal a scene from a movie that stole its entire plot from another movie. Bravo.
The inept dubbing also makes for some outright hilarious moments. My favorite being one of the henchmen who may just have the most mismatched voice in history. If you have watched this you will know what I am talking about.
All in all, Contamination isn’t terrible. In fact, it can be enjoyable at times but ultimately feels like a less inspired rip-off of a rip-off that can be skipped by all but hardcore coffee and alien conspiracy movie fans.
Snore Factor: ZZZ