Highwaymen

So many people enjoy this film that I am going to take pleasure in tearing it apart. And not just to be a contrarian bastard – the film actually sucks something fierce.

The plot is simple. A maniac with a proclivity for running over girls in his craptastic car is on the loose. After his wife is run over by the maniac, Jesus (Jim Caviezel) must use his magic powers of teleportation and blood-hound tactics to save another girl from suffering the same fate.

Jim Caviezel, Jesus in The Passion of the Christ, most certainly channeled his inner Christ in this film. Let me digress and provide some examples.

Early on in the film Caviezel is seen driving around on open country roads. Zooming along at high speeds he suddenly stops, pulls his car over, and investigates a worn down barn. From some pieces of metal on the ground he is able to tell where the bad guys hideout is within seconds. Amazing.

But that is just the start of it. He manages to walk among the cops at a murder/crime scene despite very high security and having no business being there. He also is able to find people when cops can’t. Somehow amongst a throng of trained professionals, Jesus is able spot Rhona Mitra (heroine in distress) who is in the stupidest place possible. Doubly Amazing.

But wait! There’s more!

Jesus then randomly appears no less than three times to help Rhona completely out of the blue. Basically, as I understood it, all Jesus does is drive his car around and show up magically whenever needed.

Of course, Jesus or Rhonna can never simply alert the cops and have them arrest the guy or setup a road block to stop him. That would be too easy. And since the film only last about 75 minutes (Thank God) doing anything the right way or proper way would be asking far too much.

I will say though if the filmmakers had decided to maybe give the story some sort of plot or interesting characters this film could have had a chance.

The bad guy in the film looks like something out of Mad Maxx. This is not a good thing. He has lots of odd metal pieces attached to his body; presumably to make him look like a bad ass and to illustrate his recklessness, but ends up just looking stupid and tacky.

This next bit is my favorite part. The psycho needs a wheelchair to get around outside of his car. Why not just follow him home and then tip his chair over? Problem solved. Murdering spree over.

The only positive thing I can say is the movie didn’t use CGI for any of the car wrecks and chases.

I recommend playing in the freeway for 75 minutes instead of watching this road kill. Trust me.

Snore Factor: ZZZZ

IMDB 2004

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