Hellraiser IV: Bloodline

July 22, 2010 1:37 pm 0 comments , , ,

I have a rule about horror films. Once they go into space, the series is no longer watchable. For the Hellraiser franchise this happens at film number four of eight. Not good, especially considering I am watching them all back-to-back.

H4 (too lazy to spell it all out, kinda like how the director was too lazy to make a decent film) starts in the 22nd century on a space station. Uh oh. The film proceeds to tell the story of the puzzle box and the lineage of the merchant who created the box by using flash forwards and backs dating from 18th century Paris, to present day somewhere, up to the 22nd century. Apparently, the merchant has FINALLY figured out a way to kill Pinhead for good but must give us an hour of exposition before anything remotely interesting can take place.

Think of H4 as one of those films like The Fountain, or even the recent blockbuster Inception that deal with multiple times or places within the same film. Now take away all directing and screenwriting talent that the other similar films had and replace it with a director who sucks so bad he literally took his name off the film due to the impending shame he could see coming. Now you have Hellraiser IV: Bloodline.

A lot of people try to pretend this isn’t as bad as it is made out to be. They are called liars who need to get off of Clive Barker’s junk. If it smells like shit, tastes like shit, then it IS shit. Please come to terms for your own good.

The common approach is that H4 is a fan’s movie. I’ll buy that, because only die-hard completists should watch it. For the rest of the sane world, punching yourself in the face for 90 minutes is just as entertaining and will undoubtedly induce less brain damage.

On the plus side, I can think of one movie that is worse than this one – From Justin to Kelly.

Snore Factor:  ZZZZZ

IMDB: 1996

Trailer:

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