Life Blood

Dedication. Dedication is writing this review amidst some of the worst pain I ever experienced in my entire life thanks to some shitty dentist. I am in my own worst nightmare.

Life Blood, Pear Blossom, Murder World or whatever the hell you want to call this movie features two hot lesbian vampires. We all know that is more than enough to entice most viewers, including moi.

The story is shit. The acting is a little better than shit. Sophie Monk (Lesbo Vamp) is so hot nothing else mattered.  It could be the massively over the recommended limit cocktail of pain medications I am currently on, but I fell head over heels for her. I literally could not take my eyes off her. And to think, I normally prefer brunettes.

You are either the target audience for this film or not.

Charles Napier (guy who always plays a Sherriff), the chubby kid from Sandlot and the midget/little person (whichever is PC today) from about everything with a midget in it also make appearances.

My favorite part about the movie is how God plays a major part. No, not like God is someone to whom the characters pray to, but ACTUAL God in the form of another hot and barely clothed woman. God comes down from the sky on two separate occasions to make shit happen. It’s hilarious.

This movie was definitely made for 15-year-old boys in need of some spank bank material. And for that, I thank the producers.

Snore Factor: ZZZ

IMDB 2009

Trailer:

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