The Children

August 6, 2010 11:59 am 3 comments

"You brought them into the world. They will take you out."

I have always had a soft spot in my heart for killer kid movies. The genre demands considerable suspension of disbelief. If a toddler were trying to kill me (or any adult for that matter) a swift kick in the face would resolve the problem. If for some reason that didn’t work just pick the kid up, drive to a cliff, and chuck little Johnnie into the abyss. Story is over. But that is what makes killer kid films fun – the ridiculousness of the situation.

The Children depicts a couple families that trounce off to spend winter holidays in a secluded house. The kids become infected by some goop and turn into murderous rampaging killers. Fun for everyone!

I would like to personally thank the UK for and endless supply of beauties with hot accents.

Thankfully, this film holds up pretty well when compared against others in the genre. It has a nice atmosphere that lends itself to being creepy. A significant amount of character development is also present, setting up the conundrum the parents face. Should they kill their children or not? The gore comes, but much like other British horror, you have to wait for it.

The movie mostly avoids the clichés that drag these films into cheesedom. The parents however, do make some extraordinarily dumb moves (of course) throughout the film. And some of the deaths are way to convenient (dodgy writing). None of this distracts from the overall goodness, this is a killer kid movie after all.

The acting was respectable all around with Hannah Tointon leading the way as the stereotypical teenage girl who doesn’t want to spend time with her family. Can you blame her? Everyone in her family under 10 is a murderer.

While the film covers nothing new in the genre, it is a fun time waster and all fans of killer kids should watch.

Snore Factor: ZZZ

IMDB 2008


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  • Bluegrasslass

    If you liked this then I recommend two excellent UK films: Severance and Doghouse. Both are horror with comedy elements and are pretty brutal too :)

  • Micah

    I have Doghouse on my radar, but I haven’t heard much about Severance. Thanks for the suggestion.

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  • Dyingdread

    Just finished watching this one due to the review as well, have to say, I liked it alot more the Pontypool,. The creepy music, and the use of the camera were absolutely spot on. I’d award this movie for “Worst Dad Of The Fucking Year” . Also, the scene in which the two kids in the forest look at the body, the way the girl tilts her head looking at the corpse, reminded me of The ghost death in the original Halloween ( Huge fan, got the box art tattood on my back), and was scary for that same reasons. Once again , love the site , keep up the good work,
    - Zack Long