DeepStar Six

Time for a little déjà vu. I just reviewed Leviathan a couple days ago which sparked my interest in “underwater ocean monster movies released in 1989.” So, today I review the third best film in the ocean monster series from ’89, numero uno being The Abyss, followed closely by Leviathan. DeepStar Six is the less memorable film, for good reason.

Personally, I like it, but firmly believe it should have been marketed as a comedy.

A group of underwater missile platform contractors make some seriously flawed choices. Those choices involve blowing up old mysterious cavern (with a nuke) which unleashes a pissed off ancient sea monster (think Piranha 3D). The first item that struck me as strange was why on Earth was the team trying to setup an underwater nuclear missile platform on top of an active volcano basin near unstable caves? If I remember my basic science, the Earth is covered in roughly 70% water (and Darrelle Revis has the rest covered #NFL humor). Just a thought, but I have a feeling that the ocean basin has plenty of more suitable spots to setup camp.

While watching I decided to give the main characters more appropriate names. This will make my review easier to follow. They are as follows: Trigger Happy, Captain Death Wish, Trying to Pretend I’m Not Pregnant Lady, Harbinger Scientist Chick, Guy Who just Wants the Platform Built at all Costs, and Obviously Going to Live Because He’s Good at Submarine Driving Guy. There are a few other characters, but they are just used as bait.

When a couple of folks get trapped by the monster, Captain Death Wish and Submarine Driver Guy hop in mini-sub and strap on their rescue boots. Of course, Death Wish manages to get himself stuck in a pneumatic door. Rather than try to reasonably solve the issue and free himself, he almost immediately presses a button that causes a major flood. He drowns within seconds. At least he finally got his wish. I like to think that his wife topside was a huge bitch and he was just looking for a way out.

Submarine Guy then goes through probably the most traumatic ten minutes of his life. Let me sum it up: First the Captain (his best friend) dies, three other friends die, a sea monster is destroying the underwater base, there is almost no hope for escape, Trigger Happy shoots off another nuke for the dumbest reason ever, further damaging the base, and finally Not Pregnant Lady tells him she is pregnant with his baby.

Take that country music songs. Dude has it rough! None of this really fazes Submarine Guy, in fact, he proposes within minutes. What a sweet guy! And he’s calm under pressure. The perfect catch?

It’s not the scariest movie, though the monster does look pretty terrific (which is a good thing because it doesn’t make a physical appearance for almost an hour) and the film is directed by none other than Mr. Friday the 13th, Sean Cunningham.  If you think about, being stuck a couple miles under the sea is way more dangerous than a sea monster. Having your face crushed to the size of a pea within seems to be a little more threatening than a rogue monster. But whatever.

Moral of the story: It’s a fun, but dumb ride.

Snore Factor: ZZZ

IMDB 1989


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