Back when I was still too young to know better, I thought I hated this film. Lucky for me, I wasn’t killed off by a maniacal corporation and replaced by an android. If that had happened, then I wouldn’t have had the chance to grow up and realize this film as one of the best Halloween movies (I’ll take it over about 8 others, give or take one) in the franchise.
Don’t get me wrong. If Evil Dead 4 was released, sans Ash, plus rubber masks; I would explode in anger. Due to the insane levels of fanboy hate the Internet would collapse upon itself creating a black hole that would suck planet earth into oblivion. Sam Raimi would be tracked down and unceremoniously beaten senseless. Come to think of it. It’s probably a good thing the Web wasn’t around when this film opened. Halloween III: Season of the Witch was simply too far ahead of its time.
Personally, I love how the ‘80s had no shame about trying to capitalize on a name. Friday the 13th: The Series is one of my favorite shows, yet after seeing every single episode I still can’t tell you what the connection is (outside of a hockey mask making a cameo) between the series and everyone’s good pal Jason V. A suit somewhere thought they could cash in on a brand and voila, the movie was born. Why does that seem familiar? Oh, that’s right! Hollywood REMAKES!
Tom Atkins (Night of the Creeps, The Fog) does his thing –he plays a badass. It’s what he does best. He beds the ladies, solves mysteries, rescues the needy, saves EVERY American kid and stops television broadcasts. And when he isn’t saving the future, he practices medicine. Yes, it’s true “The Most Interesting Man” stole his shtick from Mr. Atkins.
I’m writing this review assuming you have seen this movie, because if you haven’t, we aren’t friends. But, just for fun, let me recap the plot. An evil company, Silver Shamrock employs a bunch of androids and has a plan to kill the children of America (I take this personally being a child of the ‘80s). Their plan involves creating Halloween masks that when activated, by the most annoying jingle ever created, will melt the brains of the kids wearing said mask. Side effects include: random snakes, worms and bugs oozing out from the corpses. The plan was fool proof; minus the part where Tom Atkins comes along and whoops some android ass. There is also some witchcraft, Stonehenge, head removals, gut punches, and LASERS thrown in at no extra charge.
If you can’t get behind a plot like that then there is no hope for you.
Snore Factor: ZZ (It’ll keep ya up)
Silver Shamrock Jingle: