Nightbeast

November 6, 2010 10:38 pm 0 comments , , ,

Here’s another Hulu special. And like most of the horror selection on Hulu this film is terrible. Which, of course means good things for bad movie lovers like myself.

I’m typing this from my cellphone in a bar. My laptop died and is currently holding my review hostage. Lame. Then again, I’ve been pretty lucky through this project not missing a day yet.

Short review: This movie has bad acting and worse special effects. Really, nothing to be desired. I throw up my full once I have access to it. Til then, later everyone.

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This movie is crappy even by Troma Releasing standards. It’s a movie so grandiose in its failure that it nearly becomes fun to watch – nearly.

An alien (not a beast) crash lands in Podunk, USA and introduces a slew of rednecks to the business end of a death-ray. That is the plot. Nothing else is really important. You might be tempted into believing that the townsfolk are trying to stay alive, but, rest assured, they are not. Every move they make borders on mind-numbingly stupid. Case in point, Guy-In-White-Jacket comes up with a brilliant plan that involves a wet floor, electrical outlets, and slo-motion acting. Apparently, slo-motion movements makes alien monsters easier to kill.

Nightbeast boasts impressively amateurish everything: Sound, acting, directing – you name it, it blows chunks. The acting is particularly terrible, but then again the characters are mostly just there to clarify exposition and ride dirt bikes around until being death-rayed.

The effects on the death-ray are quite fun, though. By fun, I mean they will make you laugh. The effects are only outdone in poorness by the makeup of the alien. It’s clearly a guy in a suit. But, as always with these kinds of films, it’s more about watching some guy get brained repeatedly (which happens). In fact, a whole lot of people die in this movie. I’d say somewhere around 85% of the town is killed.

The thing I don’t get is why the alien is so pissed off. The Nightbeast (Ha) lands, gets out of its ship, and immediately begins blasting everything in sight. I guess the alien is a killing machine. The death-ray technology is pretty impressive. When the ray touches a human (or a car for that matter) random trippy LSD lights flash around the victim causing them to disappear. Where do they go? It’s better to not think about these things.

Also, there are random soft-core moments thrown in for what appear to be no reason (or every reason depending on your idea of what’s needed in a movie). The scene between the two cops is the one of the most idiotic (and laugh out loud funny) love scenes I have ever seen. I hope I can find a screen shot or clip of it floating around somewhere on the interwebs (Update: I did – see below).

So, yeah, this film is about as terrible as they come, but it still manages to deliver just enough charm that bad movie lovers will probably be alright with it.

Rating: 2/10

Snore Factor: ZZZZZ (easy to sleep through)

IMDB 1982

Cop Love Scene (Must Watch):

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