Haunted Casino

Today this blog turns eight months old, meaning I have watched and reviewed 245 horror films in the last 245 days.  By the numbers that breaks out to 147,000+ words about horror movies. It’s led me to movie premieres, lack of a dating life, a writing gig with Bloody Disgusting, piles of screeners, and, most importantly, allowed me to connect with a lot of cool like-minded people. I just wanted to take a quick second and throw a shout out to all of you who read this blog. You all rock and are a big part of my motivation to see this crazy project through completion.

Alright, let’s kick off the last 120 days of movies with a film from Full Moon Features. Full Moon (Empire) is hands down my favorite “bad” movie studio. Troma and Vestron Video follow closely behind. There is just something so delightfully awful about Charles Band’s films that I find irresistible. Like cheesecake and half Asian chicks. Wait. To be clear, cheesecake and half-Asians are not awful, but irresistible.

Haunted Casino (formerly Dead Man’s Hand) is without a doubt a Full Moon flick. From top to bottom it reeks of the low budget cheese that is part of everything that comes from the studio. On the good side, horror icons Sid Haig (Galaxy of Terror) and Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes) make appearances; with Haig playing the main antagonist.

A young guy inherits a long forgotten about casino located on the outskirts of Vegas. He rounds ups his IQ challenged victims, er…friends, and heads out to claim his property. They quickly become trapped in the casino, which is full of vengeful spirits. There is some backstory about how the young guy’s uncle had a beef with Sid Haig, but honestly, who cares. This is the kind of film that is about death, blood, and boobs. Two of the three are present – the missing element is nudity.

The non-nudity factor is lame, but wouldn’t be such a big deal if the film de-emphasized sex. But, in fact, Haunted Casino does exactly the opposite. Characters pretend to have sex, almost have sex, and are generally as horny as a three-balled tomcat on Prom night. If you are going to go to all the trouble of casting a ton of hotties in a low budget horror film, you might as well have a couple of them loose the goods, right?

I won’t say you should skip this movie, but unless you are a bad horror lover (like me) this one might be alright to skip. It is, however, better than a lot of the recent films from Full Moon.

Final Verdict: If you love bad horror, give this one a shot.

Rating: 3.5/10

Snore Factor: ZZZZ (A bit sleepy)

IMDB 2007

Trailer:

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  • thomas

    oh god i think its really hilarious that you came apon this movie, which is undoubtedly awful- the ghosts look like robots for gods sake. and then that sexy ghost is going to give the guy head, but you dont see anything… what a load of crap. first scene holds up though.
    ill miss the blog though, what are you going to do after youre done?

  • http://www.365HorrorMovie.com Micah

    The ghost at the roulette table. What the hell was up with him? Looked like he had a cookie for a head. And the complete lack of sex/nudity where there should have been makes me wonder if some Christian Coalition against boobs edited the film.

    It’s up in the air. I plan on still doing reviews, just not with as much frequency. Any suggestions?

  • Thomas

    Not sure, but i like your blog because of your honesty, self deprication, and humor. keep up some reviews, but focus on like current releases or your favorites. Maybe throw out some horror short stories of your own- ask for feedback- hope no one steels them and make a significant profit. Your lists also seem to get a lot of attention, so you could do more of those. Or exploit your currently popularity to make us all your personal army for some messed up sactimonious mission for fame? that seems to be a popular choice.

  • http://www.365HorrorMovie.com Micah

    Option three sure is tempting. I think another option would be to somehow turn this blog into a way to meet beautiful women. Step One: Write a blog. Step 2. … Step 3. Hot chicks. It’s fool proof, minus the step 2 part.

  • Thomas

    If ive learned anything from being a faithful reader its that you need to get laid. Aren’t you in LA the land where women with blonde hair and big breasts roam?
    Also, the past 10 or so movies you’ve reviewed have all really sucked, you need to get back some of your mojo. Can I give you a few suggestions: dance of the dead, dead and breakfast, eden lake, black sheep, them, header, the hills run red. Watch something that isnt a peice of crap.

  • http://www.365HorrorMovie.com Micah

    I make it out to be a little worse than it really is.

    I will do Black Sheep and maybe Header here in the next few days.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Penna-Pixie-Utonih/545466890 Penna Pixie Utonih

    i tried to at least finish this movie or at least get past 20minutes but wow it sucked…lol