I was able to catch a double feature of Hatchet and Hatchet 2 last night at the New Beverly in L.A. This is why it’s good to live here in sunny Southern California. That and it was 75 degrees today on Dec. 1st. Adam Green had a lot of interesting things to say about the MPAA and the reason Hatchet 2 got pulled from theaters. I’m sure the news will be popping up all over the horror news sites, but the short of it, Green’s chances of getting anything but a NC-17 rating, even for a kids film, are minimal at best from here on out.
On to tonight’s film which features Paul Naschy, the legendary Spanish horror icon. I’ve reviewed a few of his movies for the site now and let me just say that they are usually wildly entertaining messes. Vengeance of the Zombies was no exception. In fact, it is easily the most bizarre film I’ve seen in months. Naschy even pulls and Eddie Murphy (more like the other way around) by playing three separate roles: An Indian guy, Indian guy’s evil brother, and Satan.
Set in London, the film weaves a tale about voodoo, mysticism, and zombie chicks and manages to make almost no sense at any time. While that could be considered bad thing, it makes for some rather ridiculous and therefore fun viewing. Honestly, just try and figure out what the hell is happening. I dare you.
For starters, everyone is killed in slow motion. Not like the filmmakers slowed down footage for maximum impact, no, that would make sense. Here the actors simply slow their actions down to a crawl and take knives and beer cans to the neck with great frequency as slowly as humanly possible. Speaking of beer, everyone in the film prefers Amstel Light out of cans. Though, I doubt the guy who was killed by a zombie chick wielding an Amstel Light can is real big on the stuff in hindsight.
The randomness continues. One of my favorites being when Naschy stares down a chick for a few minutes which causes her to fall in love with him. He then awkwardly fondles her breasts before they go at. Say what? This never works for me! It’s surreal.
The zombie chicks, including ultra-hottie Mirta Miller, form a sort of coven for evil Indian guy. They do his bidding (the slow motion killings) all while wearing cheap blue paint on their faces. Naschy’s role as Satan features him with some cheesy horns on his head and more bad makeup. All of this is okay because a real chicken is decapitated in this movie. Yep.
No review of this movie would be complete without mentioning the music. It’s an ultra-happy blend of ‘70s groove lounge jazz and comes across as hilariously inappropriate. People literally die to some of the happiest music on earth. Specifically, the axe-to –the-face seen which features music that encourages playing a game of Scrabble with your parents – not horrendous murder.
Moral of the story, Naschy said when he made this film he was under the influence of Hashish. “Nuff said.
Snore Factor: ZZZ