Here’s another film from legendarily important production company The Asylum. They make the movies that other people have already made, but with smaller budgets and ‘80s pop stars. Some accuse them of blatantly ripping off ideas and others, according to the fan mail The Asylum has so graciously posted, claim the company is a “piece of sh*t” and that everyone who works there are “bitch turds.” These individuals clearly have no idea, nor the brain power, to appreciate the awful greatness that is The Asylum.
Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid is the latest in the MEGA series of CGI monster flicks from the infamous studio; following the illustrious line of Mega Piranha and Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus. And this one just might the best of the subgenre. For starters, both Tiffany and Debbie Gibson star in roles that were clearly written for them. And they both seem to be coming into their own, especially Debbie who gives an inspired performance as a bitchy eco-terrorist with a penchant for dropping one-liners like, “I think we’re alone now” while standing near Tiffany. Oh the hilarity! It’s both relevant to the flick and a call back to a Tiffany song.
Tiffany plays the hard-ass Forest Ranger – in direct conflict with Debbie Gibson – who makes some puzzling decisions surrounding the usage of experimental growth drugs and Gators. Also puzzling is trying to figure out what exactly kept her bosom from bursting out into the open, because, man, I tell ya, those sweater puppies were trying their damndest to escape. More so than any of the slew of characters who chose to stay around and be eaten by large fake looking mammoth-sized creatures.
While the pop stars are perfect for this film, the real winner is Kathryn Joosten, who plays the deputy sidekick and is brilliantly funny. Like really funny. She steals every scene she is in and also knows just where to get massive amounts of growth hormones, dead chickens, syringes, and Native American Herbatoligists who have been on Oprah at a moment’s notice. A good person to have around for sure.
What I truly like about this movie is that it is an astounding mess. Nothing makes sense, not a single person, plotline or line of dialogue. The opening scene alone – in which Debbie steals a bunch of snakes, gets into a car chase with a cop, tries to hide her jeep by pulling over and turning off the lights, then finally drives around until the cop car miraculously flips over and explodes, never to be brought up again the rest of the film – is astoundingly ridiculous. It really sets the bar for what’s to come.
This time around The Asylum really out did themselves with bad CGI as well (probably the most in any of their movies), providing many more *intentional* laughs featuring the likes of: CGI snake eating a CGI train, Creatures eating malls (get it), and an exceptionally laughable CGI helicopter. The helicopter is most intriguing because a real helicopter was used quite a bit throughout the film. Maybe the rental ran out and they just went with a fake one. Who knows? It just makes it all the better.
Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid is gloriously stupid entertainment AND must be watched by all those with a sense of humor.
Snore Factor: ZZ