My Bloody Valentine (1981)

One of my favorite early slashers and holiday themed horror movies is up today. While I personally hate Valentine’s Day with a passion greater than the heat of a thousand suns, I love this movie. So, let’s get to it. You might already know that this was remade, rather poorly, in 2009, but still managed to better than the vast majority of remakes churned out by the Hollywood “cash in on a brand name club.” The original sets the pick axe pretty high from a slasher standpoint, and after all these years remains one of the best and most interesting slasher flicks. This is what old school American, err, Canadian horror is all a boot.

A small sleepy town by the name of Valentine’s Bluff is preparing for a big party and dance to celebrate Hallmark’s holiday. It’s the first time in 20 years that they plan to celebrate. Why? Well, 20 years ago there was a drunk not tending to his business which caused a bunch of deaths in the town’s mine. The sole survivor, Harry Warden (what a name!), killed the people responsible and told them to never have a venereal disease party again. But that was 20 years ago. Surely, nothing could go wrong now.

I think she is dry now

Enter the town’s population of supreme idiots. You know they are idiots for many reasons, like for example the guy who snorts beer through a straw and for his efforts receives a round of applause. People start getting dead in a hurry, mostly the planning party, but before they die the get a nice Valentine card with a poem about their death. It’s charming and gruesome. The brass in charge of the town decide to cancel the party. The movie is now over.

Oh, except that the younger geniuses and their sexed up girlfriends figure screw that. Why would they let “The Man” tell them when they can party? They choose to move the party to the single worse place in the world – The mine. This the most astoundingly bad choice they will ever make. Almost immediately, they begin to drink, have sex and catch pick axe’s to the face. One guy even gets dragged by his head via the killer’s pick axe across the ground for an extended period of time. It’s bloody good stuff.

There’s even a surprise twist ending to go along with a heaping pile of dead twenty-somethings. Sadly, the version on Netflix Instant is missing a good chunk of the gore that the director intended. It’s still splatterriffic, though, and easily one of the top 20 slashers of all time. A lot of love and effort was put into this film and it pays off fantastically. Finally, something good to blame on Canada!

Rating: 8/10

Snore Factor: ZZ

IMDB 1981

New remake 3D Version review here (one of my first 15 or so reviews ever)

Trailer: