How to Get Girls 101: A Lesson on Being Awesome

"Put on a horror shirt, get hot ladies."

As many of you know, I’m awesome. Ladies flock to me by the hundreds. But it wasn’t always that way. Hard to believe, I know. But there was a time when I wasn’t turning down 50 dates a week. A dark time indeed. A time when the only thing I could catch was the herp from hookers in Vegas.

But then I discovered the secret to my success. A secret that changed my life forever. One that I will now share with all of you. Why? Because as my dedicated readers you deserve to be let in on this secret. Plus, no one man should hog such a thing of beauty.

Looking back now it seems so simple. Put on a horror shirt, get hot ladies (works for all other combos as well). For example, last night for my blog’s celebration I chose to wear a Bate’s Motel shirt that I got from Tshirt Bordello.

Room 237, where all the good stuff happens...

I chose this particular shirt for a couple reasons. First, it says that I am good to my mother. Something the women folk  find irresistible. Wearing this shirt says that I am a family man, a nurturer, and a that I there is a chance that I am into stuffing things – something the ladies also like.

Within minutes of the party starting I had two chicks by my side. Both were wearing American Apparel horror tee shirts of their own. Both were looking good, Susan in her RedRum shirt and Abbey in her Amity Island tee. I impressed them ever further when I pulled out my over-sized Overlook Hotel Key Chain and invited them to experience the wonders of room 237. Needless to say, they loved it. Also, needless to say, I am probably going to get punched when they read this. But hey, I’ll take one for the team so that you can get in on the secret.

You can thank me later.

- Micah

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