Now that I have some time on my hands I wanna have fun and write about random obtuse things within horror. Like the best horror movie moms of the 1980′s for example. Reviewing a movie a day for a year was absolutely exhausting and left little time for anything else. Such is life, but that time has passed. Let us usher in a new era for this blog.
When I was a child my mother would let me watch horror movies (I know, she is awesome) which most certainly shaped and cultivated my love of horror (and also lack of sleep as a young boy). So, I thought making a list of the best horror movie mothers (some good, some bad) from the ’80s would be a fun post since I was both born in the ’80s and have a mother (full reviews can be found by clicking the links).
10. Mom – Carla (1989)
A movie that needs more love. First, there is no greater poster ever made. Sweet ole Mom becomes infected by something in this incredibly original monster movie. She, like most monsters, likes to eat people because people taste delicious. Does her son have the guts to off his mommy or will he just put her in timeout?
9. The Entity – Carla Moran (1981)
Manages to raise three kids while being routinely violated by an invisible demon. And she does it with grace and class. And let’s be honest, boobies are fun to look at – especially when they are being squeezed by magic entities.
8. Cujo - Donna Trenton (1983)
Her kid is a little whiny snot with health problems, but she manages to love him anyway. She could have gone the natural selection route and fed the little bugger to Cujo while she ran away, but she stuck with him. And for that she gets a nod in this countdown.
7. The Fog – Stevie Wayne (1981)
Positives: Host a super sweet radio show. Has a nice rack. Helps Antonio Bay out by saying things like, ‘There’s something IN the fog.”
Negatives: Leaves her son with a very questionable babysitter.
6. Evil Dead II - Henrietta (1987)
She’s big into swallowing souls and can turn herself into a massive monster with a giraffe neck. Not exactly great motherly qualities. The bad news for her, she isn’t immune to chainsaws or shotgun blasts to the face. Henrietta, may you rest in pieces.
5. Poltergeist - Diane Freeling (1981)
One tough mom. After some questionable parenting which involved using her kids as props for the supernatural, Diane turns into Super Mom and drags her precious Carol Anne back from the otherworld. She ain’t afraid of no ghosts. Her personal investment and love for her children makes her the quintessential ’80s mom – that I would totally do.
4. Aliens – Alien Queen (1986)
Normally spends her days attached to a massive egg sack, but if you ruffle her feathers you best watch out. Once detached from her young she has no problems utilizing her superior intelligence to wreak some mother f*ckin’ havoc. She can trap people, use elevators, and even sneak onto spaceships in order to protect her babies. She’s a bit misunderstood, but a loving mother nonetheless.
3. The Shinning – Wendy Torrance (1980)
She is obnoxious and shrill, no doubt. But as a mother she is courageous and brave during a most challenging family situation. She walks a fine line between total moron and loving wife. Either way, she saves her creepy little son from the big bad Jack – all by herself.
2. Friday the 13th – Pamela Voohries (1980)
You won’t find a more devoted and loving mother. On the flip side, you won’t find a more violently psychotic killer. Her near perfect mix of love and bat sh*t crazy helps her kill Kevin Bacon with the old arrow through your neck trick. Not bad for a 40-something lady nearing menopause. Plus, she looks stylish in her mom sweater, something that should not be overlooked.
1. Mother’s Day – Mother (1980)
Has her boys in tip-top raping shape by feeding them almost exclusively junk food (heck yes!). As a former young boy, I wish my mom would have let me eat only junk food. Yay for diabetes! She’s also big on pop culture knick-knacks and likes to “keep the good from the city” which means raping and murdering young women. She’s an absolute monster, but one of the most loving monsters around.